


Memories

by JPSanSan (JaypeeSun)



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Betrayal, Business, College, Domestic Violence, F/M, First Time, First work don't hate me please, Gen, High School, Josh with no piercings and tattoos, M/M, Religion, Romance, Smut, Tyler with no tattoos, Work, quite long, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaypeeSun/pseuds/JPSanSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I-I'm sorry Josh, I-"</p><p>"One sorry can't fix everything, Tyler."</p><p>Josh started walking away. My vision is starting to blur. I run after him, stopping him from going away. I hugged him, sobbing at his shirt. And he's just there, standing. Frozen.</p><p>Seconds later, I felt his hand removing my arms around his waist. I tightened my arms, but I failed.</p><p>"I will forever cherish the memories we had. I-I'm sorry, Tyler. But I have to go."</p><p>And then he walked outside.</p><p>I feel nothing. I don't know what to do anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I can hear him panting behind me.

 _“He’s tired,”_ my stupid conscience told me. I shook my head.

I’ve been telling myself many times already that I’m not going to bring my defenses down just because I feel sorry for him. He deserved it, this asshole made that shitty mistake and I can’t accept it right away.

But I can’t help it. It looks like my body is having its own life, moving against my will. As much force as possible, I’m stopping myself to turn around and kiss him. Ah shit!

“Stop walking Tyler Joseph! Please!” I winced at the tone of his voice. I can feel the hurt in his voice. Am I _hurting_ him?

Fuck. _“Just a little more”_ , I said to myself. _“Have your self-control Tyler!”_

I just want to cuddle with him right now.

But I don’t have to do that anymore. I’m not prepared on what’s coming - Josh pulled me suddenly and forcefully pinned me against the wall. My heart suddenly beats so fast because of what he did. Asshole!

And because of my infamous skill – stupidity, I didn’t also notice that I entered their house already. Yeah, nice plan on running away from him, Tyler.

“What the hell?! Let me go!” I shouted at his face, _his face_ , just a few centimeters in front of me. He gripped my arms tightly. I tried to remove his hands, to no avail, just to hide my overflowing emotions right now. My heart is beating every millisecond right now. And did I mention _his face_?

“Will you please stop moving?! Tyler, please, let’s fucking cut the chase. Just, just try to listen,” he said, putting stress on each word. Anger, desperation, irritation and pain flashed across his beautiful face.

And just like that, my defenses were broken down. The anger that fueled my dramatic walk-out earlier have already subsided. Because _Josh_ is just in front of my fucking face! The one I’m secretly in love with for like four years now.

And I’m sure my heart is like having a marathon. My whole system is on fire. My brain is pounding inside my skull. I can’t fucking think straight. His effect on me is really overwhelming. I closed my eyes, instinctively, to calm things down.

Seconds later, I felt that he’s relaxing his grip. I took that as an opportunity to escape. But when I opened my eyes, I gawked and gulped loudly. Joshua Dun’s face is inching closer to my face. I can feel his breath right now.

“Stop moving or I’ll going to kiss you,” he warned with a super sexy smirk. I bit my lower lip, stopping myself from collapsing. This view in front of me is breathtaking.

“Fuck."

And before I scold him for cursing…

He kissed me.

Deeply.

Passionately.

His lips are moving, his tongue forcing to open my mouth. But I can’t move. I’m just too stunned. I just cannot believe it.

This guy, the one I learned to love for the past four years, is kissing me. He just recently broke up with Debby, and flirting with other girls a while back, and now…

Am I dreaming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First about about Joshler. :)
> 
> I'll try to update as soon as possible. Being a college student is so hassle. :/
> 
> By the way, stay street friends. |-/


	2. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler enters high school, manages his family's problems, and meets "new people" (ehem, Josh Dun).

I usually love Sundays, because this is the day that we're doing church service. I love going to church. The best place to reflect about everything that happened during the week. I also love having a personal conversation with God. I love listening about the Sunday gospel, our priest's sermon. And being part of our church choir, I really love playing piano and singing together with my choir mates.

But today's Sunday is different. Aside from the laziness taking over my body, I was awaken by some loud noise downstairs. I sat up, still dazed from sleep, and reached out for my eyeglasses. After wearing them, I looked up to my wall clock. "6:27," it says. I mentally cursed.

"This early?" I groaned. I stretched my arms and yawned scandalously, stared at my star-studded roof, painfully stood up from my very comfy bed (I still really want to sleep), and peeked through the blinds of my window. I already see some people doing their daily routines. There were people wearing suit and tie walking briskly. I wondered why they're so hurried when in fact it's Sunday. I also see the early birds of our church community, chatting with each other happily.

My thoughts were suddenly cut off by another loud noise coming downstairs. My heart suddenly beats so hard.

"'Kay, that's enough," I mumbled nervously while wearing my slippers and silently walked to the door. I leaned my head to the door to clearly hear what's going on downstairs.

_"Shut the fuck up, Kelly! Let me do what the fuck I want to do!"_

_"What kind of logic is that? Chris, you're the head of this family! Not to mention that you're serving in the name of God! You should set the example in our community! Everyone is looking up for you-"_

Suddenly there is a sound of glass breaking. That startled me, chills ran through my body. I never heard something like that here in our house. I gulped my own saliva, calmed myself and stopped myself from going down.

_"You're an annoyance, Kelly. My head is aching and all you did was talking shit there."_

_"I-I am an 'annoyance'? Chris?"_

Mom's voice cracked at the last word. And I heard her crying. Fury suddenly fuelled my body and I closed my fists tightly, wanting to hit anything.

 _"I need a break,"_ my father said and I heard the back door open and close.

I quickly went downstairs to approach mom. When I saw her, my heart broke to million pieces. The lack of sleep is evident on her face, and it's worsened by her crying right now. Suddenly, my tears are forcing their way out of my eyes. I hate to see that the woman I love so much, more than my life, looks so devastated.

"M-Mom?" I didn't recognize my voice. "Mom?"

Mom slowly raised her head and my tears finally fall down the moment I saw her bloodshot eyes.

She wipes away her tears and said, "T-Tyler. You're up so early. You should have slept more." She tried to force a smile, but it looks like a grimace than an actual smile.

Instead of answering her, I ran to her and hugged her tightly.

"S-Stop crying, mom, please, I hate to see you like this, I-I-" I stammered, my voice muffled on her back, my eyeglasses askew, as my tears are continuously falling down. I hear her crying also.

I shook my head rapidly, stopping her from crying. But I failed.

Shit, I'm weak at this. I'm usually good at hiding my emotions, but not in front of my family. I should stop crying. It just makes things worse.

So I calmed myself, closed my eyes, and finally, I stopped crying.

"I stopped crying mom. Now you should also," I said, a little defensive. Seconds later I hear her laughing softly, and it makes my heart swell with happiness.

At least I've done something to make my mother smile. And that's saying something.

I slowly removed my arms around her waist and turned around to see her face. Her eyes are still bloodshot, her nose looks like a ripe tomato, while her cheeks are having their shade of pink, but the most beautiful thing is her smile.

"Thank you Tyler," my mom said sweetly to me. I smiled and hugged her.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too Tyler."

***********

"Where's dad, mom?" my younger sister, Madison, asked when we're eating our breakfast. Mom just stared blankly at her plate. As of now, I'm the only one who knew the incident earlier.

"Mom? Are you okay?" this time my brother, Zack, asked mom. As if coming from a trance, mom sharply looked into us before breathing heavily. "What's that, sweetie?"

Zack and Madison exchanged looks. I looked at mom and saw her anxious face.

I cleared my throat and said, "Dad's just doing some errands, okay?" I need to help mom. I promised earlier not to tell anything about what happened to my siblings.

Madison pouted her lips and said, "It's just weird. Dad's not doing something this early. And he never skips breakfast."

In my peripheral vision, I saw mom shaking her head. I just looked at my plate filled with pancakes. Madison's too talkative. She needs to stop.

"I said don't think too much about it, Madison. You're breaking the silence. Eat," I told Madison with authority in my voice. Finally, Madison continues on eating her own food. I heard mom's sigh. I bit my lip and started eating.

As we continue on eating our breakfast, my mind wandered to something else. I thought about high school and it makes me feel giddy and excited. School will start next week, and my excitement grows more and more as the days pass by. In fact, I've already prepared my things, including my basketball gear.

Dad taught me how to play basketball during my fourth grade. Our backyard's so wide it is enough to make a basketball court out of my parents' earnings. Mom and dad used to play ball long time ago; now my father is the coach of West High School basketball team. At first, I find it hard to play that sport. The ball used to be bigger than my hands, and it always slips away every time I dribble. Shooting was the most daunting task. You have to estimate the distance between you and the ring. You have to know where's the two-point and three-point area. I almost considered quitting, but it's too late-I've learned to love basketball already. And eventually, through hard work, and dad's strict practice, I'm already good at playing basketball, not to brag about that.

This coming school year, I chose West High School. And I'm going to join the basketball team.

We finished the rest of our breakfast in silence and I helped mom cleaning the dishes.

“Tyler?” mom called. I turned around from the sink to face her.

“Mom?” I asked. She sighed-I can’t count how many times she sighed already this morning. She wiped her hands on her apron and said, “Don’t be mad at your dad, okay? He-He’s just having a hard time, that’s all. You know he won’t do something bad to us, right Tyler? You know that. Just don’t say anything when your dad comes home later, okay?”

As much as I want to believe her, doubt clouds my thoughts. Never in my fifteen years of existence in this world did my dad shouted at my mom, until now. I know it’s unfair of me to judge him based on what he did once, but I have friends who have parents fighting to each other. And I know where that leads to. And as their oldest child, I have to do something. God didn’t want all of this to happen. Dad should know that.

“Tyler?” mom repeated when I didn’t respond immediately. I sighed and nodded. I stared unnecessarily long at the sink when mom continued, “Oh by the way, Tyler. Jenna’s mom called earlier this morning and told me that Jenna wants you to help her at the church at 10:30”.

I stopped washing the plate. I turned around and said, “Why? Did she tell you why?”

Mom is slicing the vegetables when she said, “Um, yeah, there’s a group of kids from an orphanage in Cleveland visiting the church. And Jenna’s in charge of the activity. That’s why she wants you to help her.”

Jenna. My best friend. The thought of her makes me smile. I-I don’t know. I knew I have a crush on her since I was eight, when I met her at the church. Pretty young to feel shit like that, right? Maybe because she has this positive vibe surrounding her, and it’s very contagious. The way she cheers for me when I play basketball, it’s just sort of a wonderful feeling. Her eyes, the way they smile along with her lips (which has the right shade of red), her graceful movements, her sweet voice, her laughter, her-

“Tyler. What did I say about conserving water?” mom suddenly cut off my thoughts. Shit. Man, I’ve been thinking too much this _morning_ already. I frantically turned off the faucet and looked at her sheepishly.

“Sorry mom, will not happen again,” I mumbled, and mom just shook her head. “And about that, um, I-I will help her mom. Um, 10:30, right?”

Mom’s at the stove when she said, “Yes. And finish doing that _Tyler._ It’s already 8:20 in the morning. Stop fooling around.”

I nodded at her and quickly finished washing the dishes. The thought of meeting Jenna later makes me feel excited. Ah shit. I have to play basketball first.

***********

I played basketball for two hours with Zack (Dad also taught Zack how to play),  I didn’t pay attention to the time, and now I’m literally running to our church, when in fact it’s just seven blocks away from our house. Why? Because I’m already fifteen minutes late. Mom scolded me for five good minutes while my brother is laughing at me. And now, here I am.

Fortunately, speed is one of the perks of being an athlete, that’s why I’ve reached the church in no less than two minutes. Luckily no one else was around to witness my predicament. I was breathing hard and wiping off the sweat on my forehead when someone pinched my cheek so hard it hurts.

I groaned loudly in pain while looking at Jenna. _Jenna._ I quickly regained my composure and looked at her guiltily.

“Okay, you’re seventeen minutes late, and you have some explaining to do,” she started while she crossed her arms. “But for now, come with me. The _smurfles_ are in the kitchen already. Gosh, they’re so cute,” she continued while making some weird body movements.

I snickered at her choice of word. _Smurfles_? Yeah, I know she’s an avid fan of The Smurfs. Now she’s using that as a call of endearment, especially for kids. Pretty silly of her, right? But it’s also _cute_.

I blushed at the thought but I just shook my head.

She noticed my expression. “What are you thinking?” she asked accusingly to me. I raised my hands. “What? No, I was, um-”

She suddenly pulled my hand and I have nothing to do but to follow her.

***********

 _“Our father, who hart in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”_ we sang as the crowd of churchgoers joined us.

“The Meet Up With The Smurfles” (as Jenna titled the event earlier) finished just thirty minutes before our mass started, so it’s kind of hassle to prepare for the mass. But anyways, it’s worth it. I’m happy that Jenna enjoyed the event, as she really loves children, but sometimes I get irritated when I see rowdy children. Don’t get me wrong-I know that that’s their nature. But when one of them smudges your polo with chocolate syrup, it’s World War III for me. Fortunately I’ve left an extra polo here.

Now, I’m playing the piano, singing together with my choir mates, while looking to the churchgoers. I saw my family in front, with dad joining them (he came home before I left earlier), singing wholeheartedly, together with other families. This is the thing I want to see every Sundays. People singing together, united, in the name of God. Praising Him for what He has done to us is the most beautiful thing to see.

“ _…deliver us, deliver us, from evil, hmm,”_ I pressed the last note, and Father announced the Holy Eucharist while people knelt down. I closed my eyes, listening to him, when someone poked my bicep. I turned around and saw Jenna smiling at me.

“Did you notice something, Ty?” Jenna asked. I just raised my eyebrow. “More people attended the mass. It’s like, the numbers doubled than last Sunday.”

I glanced at them before looking at her. “Well, that sounds nice. I mean, God’s not forcing us to go to church, but to see more people worshipping Him and giving Him their time makes me happy. People are united for one reason.”

“You’re not going to be a priest, are you?” Jenna joked and I snickered. That thought never entered my mind.

“Oh no. I love God but I want to live a normal life. Don’t want to lock myself up in a seminary forever,” I said and she laughed softly. I shook my head, grinning, while looking at the people falling in line to receive the piece of bread.

We started to sing again, and I played the piano. Suddenly, while I'm scanning the crowd, I noticed something-no, someone, in front.

“Body of Christ.”

“Amen.”

I stared at him while he's taking the bread, and realized that I didn’t see him before.

 _“Is he new here?”_ I thought. Our eyes met, and I quickly turned away when I felt this weird sensation in my stomach.

“Dude, you’re playing off-key,” my choir mate told me and I quickly calmed myself.

I’ve never felt like that before. I've never had that feelings towards anyone, including Jenna.

And there’s something inside me that wants to know him. What the hell? To a _guy?_

Ah shit. I’ll worry about that later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just finished this before going to school. And I'm sorry for breaking my promise. This update doesn't look like sooner than I promised. But I'll try to post updates as frequently as possible.
> 
> And if you have any comments about this story of mine, just type them below! I'll accept all of your reactions.
> 
> Stay alive, frens. :)


End file.
